No, I Don't Feel Like Going Out Tonight.

I am not avoiding you, I just really don't want to go out.

I work. I work a lot, I go to school, I barely have time for myself and so why do people get so weird about me turning down a night out? I'm at the point where I don't even get invited anymore because I always say no. 

Is this something I need to change or are they in the wrong for getting upset with me?

Eh. Kinda both.

This, my friends can stem back to little peaks of depression. When we're depressed, having good days or bad, we don't want to do anything. When I first thought about this I didn't think depression was the culprit. Because I have been depressed, like really depressed before and it was more of a not want to get out of bed type of thing not so much just too tired to go out. But, I truly believe this phenomenon stems from it. 

It's ok to turn down things. That is perfectly ok. Especially if it's something that you really don't enjoy. Or with a friend group you don't always like to be around. It's OK TO SAY NO. For example, I am not a late night sketchy bar girl. If someone asks me to go, I will say no. Not just because that is something I don't feel like doing; I am saying "no" because I genuinely do not enjoy that activity and know that I will not have fun. So, if you're ever invited to something that you really don't enjoy doing, don't feel like you have to go. Just be honest and tell whoever invites you that you don't enjoy doing stuff like that. They will know next time to either A) Choose something else to do or B) Remember to not invite you to this particular event. And it's also ok if they still want to do those things!!! 

Don't get mad at someone because they continue to do the things they love just because you don't like these things. Everyone is different and likes different things. 

But, if you're getting invited to things that you really enjoy but you just don't want to get out of the house, that's different. 

I am all for being a homebody. I would stay in all day every day if I could. But, it's good to get outside. I get that you're tired, you don't feel like getting ready or dressed or driving or any of that stuff, but the next time someone asks you to go somewhere, to a place you enjoy, go. 

When my depression was more severe, I would make so many plans and cancel cancel cancel. I would make coffee dates, beach days, plans to go shop, plans to go bowl. But I would cancel every single time. Theses are things I LOVE doing. Especially the coffee one. I don't know how I ever turned down coffee, but I did. But, it's important to not turn these things down all the time. Your friends will get tired of asking you and always being told no. Then, they're not going to invite you anywhere and you will get upset and hurt. 

Again, it's ok to say no sometimes, but you can't say no every time. I mean you can, but it won't get you far. 

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Now, if you have that friend that always says no, first of all give them a break. They're probably struggling with something on the inside. Don't peer pressure them into going anywhere, but if you know it's something they love to do, keep pushing the idea. Don't give up on them. Sometimes they need more than an invite to get them excited to go. I need more than an invite to get me excited to go. 

Just be patient and understanding, on both sides. We're all struggling with something, and some people handle it differently than others. There are introverts, extroverts a mixture of both and it can be hard to sync up sometimes. But again, just being patient and understanding can get you a long way. 



Make getting out your BISH

xoxo,

Aubs